Everything is so much more intense with Vivaldi. Or any classical music for that matter. Maybe not Pachelbel's canon, otherwise, I don't think they'd use it for weddings so much.
I've made a nest in my bedroom, and I'm finding it difficult to leave. I want to burrow under these covers, drink my alcohol, and watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't want to leave. The world outside is getting that cold feeling and not just because the season is changing.
There is a feeling of lonliness inside of me that I want to fix, but I don't want to actually do any of the things to fix it. I don't want to be around people, but I do. Mixed up.
This movie was on the other day called Sliding Doors. It's answers the question of "what if.." What if I got on that train? What if I wasn't home that night... that sort of thing. I often find myself asking that question. What if I decided to go out the night that Anna messaged me on SD? I had vowed to never meet someone off the internet again, so I wouldn't have messaged her. I would've continued to work at Horizon. Would I have gone back to school? Would I have resigned myself to manual labour for the rest of my life?
I was thinking about my time machine. I don't have a time machine, but I like to think about what I would do if I had one. I would probably let myself make all the same mistakes, but I would travel back to the year 2000 and have a nice chat with myself.. and steal every penny 18-year-old Jessica had.. but then I might come back to find some impovershed, junkie version of myself, then I'd have to go back in time and that's just not fun unless you have Doc with you.
