1. you're a jerk.
2. that is all.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Promises
Everything is so much more intense with Vivaldi. Or any classical music for that matter. Maybe not Pachelbel's canon, otherwise, I don't think they'd use it for weddings so much.
I've made a nest in my bedroom, and I'm finding it difficult to leave. I want to burrow under these covers, drink my alcohol, and watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't want to leave. The world outside is getting that cold feeling and not just because the season is changing.
There is a feeling of lonliness inside of me that I want to fix, but I don't want to actually do any of the things to fix it. I don't want to be around people, but I do. Mixed up.
This movie was on the other day called Sliding Doors. It's answers the question of "what if.." What if I got on that train? What if I wasn't home that night... that sort of thing. I often find myself asking that question. What if I decided to go out the night that Anna messaged me on SD? I had vowed to never meet someone off the internet again, so I wouldn't have messaged her. I would've continued to work at Horizon. Would I have gone back to school? Would I have resigned myself to manual labour for the rest of my life?
I was thinking about my time machine. I don't have a time machine, but I like to think about what I would do if I had one. I would probably let myself make all the same mistakes, but I would travel back to the year 2000 and have a nice chat with myself.. and steal every penny 18-year-old Jessica had.. but then I might come back to find some impovershed, junkie version of myself, then I'd have to go back in time and that's just not fun unless you have Doc with you.
I've made a nest in my bedroom, and I'm finding it difficult to leave. I want to burrow under these covers, drink my alcohol, and watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't want to leave. The world outside is getting that cold feeling and not just because the season is changing.
There is a feeling of lonliness inside of me that I want to fix, but I don't want to actually do any of the things to fix it. I don't want to be around people, but I do. Mixed up.
This movie was on the other day called Sliding Doors. It's answers the question of "what if.." What if I got on that train? What if I wasn't home that night... that sort of thing. I often find myself asking that question. What if I decided to go out the night that Anna messaged me on SD? I had vowed to never meet someone off the internet again, so I wouldn't have messaged her. I would've continued to work at Horizon. Would I have gone back to school? Would I have resigned myself to manual labour for the rest of my life?
I was thinking about my time machine. I don't have a time machine, but I like to think about what I would do if I had one. I would probably let myself make all the same mistakes, but I would travel back to the year 2000 and have a nice chat with myself.. and steal every penny 18-year-old Jessica had.. but then I might come back to find some impovershed, junkie version of myself, then I'd have to go back in time and that's just not fun unless you have Doc with you.
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